Green Beer Day

Today is my birthday, a day that many Americans and Irish celebrate by drinking green beer and getting tanked.

Beer of any color is rather unpleasant in my opinion. I don't know why I feel this way -- not liking beer is almost as socially unacceptable as eating puppies. But early in my life I took a few sips of beer from some of the grown-ups around and had about the same reaction as I might have while eating a June bug.

I forced myself to drink beer in some social settings, but after one or two beers I felt like a barrel full of soap. I had to stand in front of porcelain altars for long periods, letting it all drain out.

Other drinks, like vodka, tequila and some kinds of whiskey, I could handle. No soapy feelings. But, in the end, I turned out to be a natural born teetotaler who rarely ever drinks alcohol.

This makes it kind of hard to celebrate my birthday on St. Patrick's Day.